A weeping Leathie, above, spoke to the press today for the first time in months.
New York - David "Fun miser" Stern announced today that the banished NBA ball, affectionately known as Leathie, will make its glorious return to league play on January 1st.
Unceremoniously sent away at the end of the summer to the Land of Misfit Sporting Goods, the leather ball joined other has-been sporting items such as mini lacrosse sticks, pink Spalding balls, pogo balls, wooden tennis rackets, and hockey sticks. Upon his reinstatement, Leathie was more than eager to discuss his return to the hardwood with several NBA beat reporters.
"The past couple months have just been unimaginable," said a clearly emotional Leathie. "My replacement - ‘Syntho’ is what we call him around here - has been faxing pictures of himself getting dunked by Wade, eaten my Mateen Cleaves, and dribbled by AI. It was just soul-shattering. The calendar tells me that it wasn’t that far back, but it feels like an eternity ago when I literally wouldn’t leave Iverson’s side for weeks. Instead I've been hanging out in this shithole sleeping next to crusty leather football helmets, neck rolls that smell like Wilbur Marshall, and an Orbi. An Orbi! Wasn’t that the name of the gay kid on ‘The Jetsons’? Needless to say, when I got my first class ticket from Granick today, I started bouncing off the walls!"