Fans in Detroit collectively vomited today as the Lions announced Matt Millen will be returning for his 7th season as team president/ jackass/ incompetent slob. While initially mistaking this news as a joke, the Hernia's rock city mole was able to regain his composure and get a quick sound bite from the man who probably would have taken Rod Tidwell with the Texans #1 draft pick:
"I'm happy to be coming back and finish what I started here," Millen said while devouring a bucket of wings and wearing his game worn Raiders jersey. "Under my watch we've gone 2-14, 3-13 twice, 5-11 twice, and 6-10. The only crappy record we haven't had yet is 4-12. But you can damn sure bet we'll be shooting for that in 2007. Pencil that in your little scribble book."
The following is a list of Millen's highlights and accomplishments as team president:
- ...
- ...
- ...
- ...
- ...
Uhh...
