Rip Hamilton mistaken for sewer rat, swept away by maintenance crew

Following the exciting fesitivities that took place after Detroit clinched the top seed in the mighty Eastern Conference, Rip "Ruthie" Hamilton was mistakenly swept off the court by the United Center's diligent maintence crew.

"I didn't know what happened," said team hedgehog Chauncey Billups. "I went to smack his ass like I always do and he wasn't there. I was like, 'where is that masked dickhead?'"

The 105lb. pogo stick was stuck in a dust pan on his way to the United Center's garbage facility, apparently dazed from the initial thrust of the broom. It wasn't until a sharp turn inside the cooridor that the crew realized Hamilton was among the debris in the dust pan.

"We were almost at the home stretch, so I guess I got a little cocky and took a hard turn," explained crew member Roy Kegnuski. "His head smacked right into a steel door. I had no idea it was Rip, I thought it was a sewer rat, or some kind of annyoing bug. I mean, look at him. And at the time, I had no clue how it got out on the court, but when I saw it, I smacked that sucker with a quick left-right and flung him right into my trap door dust pan. His head must have popped out the side on that turn."

Hamilton was unavailable for comment as he was being treated for scrapes, bruises, and menstraul pain by a Chicago area veterenarian while ultra-freaky Tayshaun Prince nervously sat at his bedside.