Sports fans, gamers and athletes alike are buzzing over the recently released Madden '08. The Sports Hernia takes a look at some of the interesting new features in this version of the popular video game.
- If you choose the Lions in franchise mode, smarter CPU automatically folds franchise, ejects game, and gives you the finger.
- Ability to run over T.O., Ray Lewis and any Bengal with the Madden Cruiser during timeouts.
- Ultra realistic action features all of Fred Taylor's limbs flying off every 10 carries.
- Ability to dress Belichick in any sweat-suit you like, including Juicy Couture.
- Insecure QB Donovan McNabb is actually trailed by his own shadow throughout the game.
- So realistic during Cardinal home games the crowd cheers the visiting team and wears their colors; ability to hear farts in stands as well.
- Minutes after winning Super Bowl on All-Madden, new online feature automatically orders you a hooker, because lord knows you're not getting laid on your own.
- Blowouts against the Eagles unlocks special "No DQ Battle Royal" game inside stadium drunk tank.
- New "Chris Chandler mode" features a devastating injury on every play until teams run out of players.
- Segway Human Transporter option available for Brad Johnson and Byron Leftwich. Casket available for Mark Brunell.
- When the Lions and Texans are selected to play each other, the game immediately defaults to Duck Hunt.
- Hold down 'O' and triangle button after a Randy Moss TD and actually crap in the end zone.
- Ed Hochuli FINALLY listed among available free agents.
- Texans All-Time team features characters from Rampage, Gauntlet and Joust.
- New All-Time Bust team highlighted by players like Tony Mandarich, Andre Ware, David Klingler, Ryan Leaf, Rashaan Salaam, and Brian Bozworth (who incidentally plays in his "Stone Cold" outfit).
- Selecting the All-90's Browns team immediately defaults to Spy Hunter where Browns fans, driving the Mutt Cutts 'mobile, are in hot pursuit of Art Modell on I-80.
- Hold down L1 and L2 with the Chiefs and Kyle Turley headslaps the entire defensive line, his own lineman, and then savagely devours Madden's food spread.
- "Deion Sander vs. Ronnie Lott" mode pits celebratory, flamboyant pricks against guys that play with missing teeth and fingers.
- New battle mode allows even the coordinators to fight, with Buddy Ryan and Kevin Gilbride constantly grappling in the background.
- Score three consecutive touchdowns with Chad Johnson, and Ocho Cinco repels down from the cheap seats to the endzone, where the two perform a duet of "Me and My Shadow."
- Go undefeated with the Chargers and unlock a secret world where you sit on Marty Schottenheimer's couch and watch him weep over old game tapes.
- If you want to get Oakland crazy, a new cheat code during Raider home games allows use of an Uzi with unlimited bullets in QB's non-interception throwing hand.
