Yeeeah, better wear a poncho for this one, and not because of the rain.
Screw the Packers and Cowboys, everyone is just too embarrassed to admit that all they can think about this week is the Giants/Bears showdown, headlined by two quarterbacks absolutely jazzed to be in the spotlight, Peyton's brother and Sweetchuck's nephew.
Here's all you need to know about Sunday's barf 'n gag QB match-up at Solder Field.
Accuracy
Edge: The 40-year-old playing catch with his son in the South Lot
Toughness
Edge: Anyone sitting through this assman rodeo in the freezing temps
Mental Toughness
Edge: Spalding Smails
Body Language
Edge: Scott Norwood
Leadership
Edge: Jeff George
Poise
Edge: Squirrel in the middle of a 5-lane highway during rush hour
Footwork
Edge: This monkey
Fan Support
Edge: Hitler
Hair
Edge: Lloyd Christmas
Fumbling skills
Edge: Rexie, he has Eli beat by 1
Public Enemy
Edge: Jeff Feagles for not punting to Hester
Sideline presence
Edge: Even - J. Load's mammoth stature ties with Orton's witness-protection beard
