Buzz from MLB's winter meetings

Royals execs? Baseball beat writers? Actually, we don't know what these things are.

Here's a quick look at some of the highlights from baseball's winter meetings thus far...

Sightings

• Hank Steinbrenner was seen giving ultimatums to various hotel employees and at one point even himself, ordering his Hankness to take only one more arrogant drag from his cigarette.
• ESPN's Steve Phillips was seen exchanging trade scenarios over several Mai Tais with Counterpoint Phillips.
• Twins GM Bill Smith, sensing the Santana swarm, embraced the spotlight and entered the hotel to the NWO's cocky theme music, even playing air guitar and pointing out the cute female hotel employees.
• For no plausible reason, various members of Rays' management received wedgies from fellow executives and agents throughout the day.
• An uncharacteristically belligerent Tim Kirkjian was seen parading around on a luggage cart, championing for a salary cap among other things.
• Jayson Stark Rumbled and Grumbled to the AAA rate and free internet access at the local Motel 6.
• Kevin Towers was seen knighting Theo Epstein in the main lobby while GM's of smaller stature banged plastic yellow wiffle bats with one another.
• Ken Rosenthal has been seen just about everywhere, popping out of people's drinks, trash cans, toilets, FedEx boxes, and in some cases, their luggage.

• Bernie Williams, in hopes of a Torre reunion, was spotted serenading GM Ned Coletti with a tearful version of Babyface's "When can I see you again?" while Brian Cashman rolled his eyes from a distance.
• Scott Boras accidentally tipped the GM of the Pirates $15 for watching his bags.
• Execs for the Royals were strangely missing, however many believe they are sending Dr. Bunson, Beaker and the Swedish Chef to stand in for them.
• In lieu of a stand-up comedian this year, MLB officials opted instead to show the Marlins' attendance figures.
• Jose Canseco was seen shagging fly balls with his head in an effort to promote his new book, "Juice is Cool."
• Before being reprimanded, some of the younger Cubs executives were seen playing catch with Mark Prior's pitching arm.
• In what at first appeared to be an attempt to make amends with Theo Epstein for an "electric shock handshake" prank a few years back, Hank Steinbrenner lured him in with a piece of black ink joke gum, nailing Theo once again.

Rumor buzz

• Pirates still mulling playing naked.
• Rockies eyeing a black player.
• Omar Minaya focused on acquiring 6th color for Mets uniforms.
• Billy Beane strictly looking to fleece someone.
• Beane however not opposed to adding another good beard to lineup.
• Rangers expecting to spend stupidly.
• Everyone looking to unload insanity.
• Jim Bowden determined to compile insanity.
• Kenny Williams poised to mention "winning it all in 2005" at least twice.
• Giants outlining plan to sign someone under 40.
• Orioles GM just looking for someone to talk to.