Reports are surfacing out of Philadelphia that Larry Brown has resigned as executive vice president of
basketball operations something vague and nonexistent in order to pursue a possible coaching gig in the college or pro level, likely whichever one offers the best opportunity to win most guaranteed money.
Upon hearing the news we had to back up for a moment to remember that Brown was actually still part of the Sixer organization. The last we could we recall, he was brought in by the exceptionally inept Billy King as additional backup so as not get to get fleeced in the impending Iverson deal.
Kind of forgot he stuck around beyond that, especially with Ed Stefanski taking over. Who knows.
Anyway, let's take a look at the embarrassing quotes from his agent and other characters regarding this latest
change calculated search to score yet another big contract.
"He has the taste of coaching back in his mouth," said Brown's agent, Joe Glass. "It would be refreshing to have a situation going that he could enjoy, rather than the last one, to say the least."
Actually he probably has the taste of a $500 steak and a $95 glass of wine in his mouth with all the loot he's pillaged from the Knicks and Sixers since 2005 -- one of which was the all important and relevant "office gig," not to mention his disgraceful flirting with the Cavs during the 2005 Finals.
Glass said Brown, who won an NBA title with Detroit and a college title with Kansas, would not rule out returning to either level.
Really, he wouldn't rule out returning to either level? You gotta be shittin' us. You sure we're talking about LB, the one who convincingly shakes his head at press conferences and still calls his 35-year old veterans "kids" so as to sound genuine and fatherly, but then bolts to the next gig like he's sexually confused? That shocks the tits out of us.
"Larry was born to coach and this is something he and I talked about when I took the job here back in December, so it comes as no surprise to me," 76ers president Ed Stefanski said.
Nor should it Ed, if anyone thought this was a surprise they deserve to have their nuts babooned with a sledgehammer.
Brown rarely attended games or even practices in his second stint.
Why should the executive vice president of basketball operations attend games or practices? Silly assholes.
Brown has been King's mentor since he hired him as an assistant coach in Indiana.
Even Larry's gotta admit the King mentoring stuff is one of the starkest shitstains on his resumé.
Once King was fired in December, Brown's role diminished.
And the Sixers started winning, even made the playoffs. Shocking!
"I think he didn't feel he had a role," King said on Thursday.
Profound shit Billy, bravo.
"He wasn't the reason for the horrible situation the Knicks were in," Glass said. "He can get that bad taste out of his mouth and go back to his first love, which is coaching."
Interestingly enough, when Glass said this, a thought bubble of him and Larry Brown dry humping a giant safe full of cash appeared above his head.
Now that Brown is unemployed, teams won't have to contact the 76ers for permission to interview him.
Quite the hurdle to get over.
"He's one of the best in the business and should be coaching," King said. "I think he's got a lot more to offer as a coach. I think it'll be on the pro level."
Much better than the first quote Billy, but you have to say this because your ass needs a job.