Breakthrough hats at the Kentucky Derby
1. The Decapitated Horse Hat -- The horse that freaked out after getting hit with the golf ball in Animal House is memorialized here in this graceful, outfit accenting horse hat. But be wary of leaning down to pet a dog while wearing this hat, as it's likely to cause an uncomfortable stand-off.
As you can see, it also works best when worn by someone with a horseface (Jessica Simpson, we're looking at you).
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2. The Stepford Wives Sombrero -- This monstrosity has been a staple for years. Other than it being incredibly stupid, not much pertinent history here.
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3. The Giant Clusterf*ck -- Originally a futon that fit three people comfortably, this cookies 'n cream head weight will make you hate yourself the morning after.
See that scarf she's wearing? It's actually a neck brace that is required to support that monstrosity atop her dome.
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4. The Marlboro Man -- Might be one of the few hats actually meant for a horse. Reminiscent of the hat Norm McDonald wore while playing Burt Reynolds on Celebrity Jeopardy. "Yeah, big hat. It's funny."
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5. ????? -- Well it wouldn't be kosher to attend a horse race without eight horses doing laps around the perimeter of your "barbershop quartet" hat, capped off by the proud life-like winner on top, right?
