Canseco: "I injected Eight Belles in the ass with 'roids"

(ELMURS HEADQUARTERS, KY) -- Minutes after the trainer for Eight Belles vehemently denied any steroid use with his horse, Jose Canseco blew the lid off the horse racing industry with claims that he injected Eight Belles, among other horses, in the ass with steroids "multiple times" prior to the Derby, while also insinuating he had some dirt on Barbaro.

"Oh yeah, I injected Eight Belles in the ass numerous times," explained Canseco during an impromptu press conference at a San Fernando Valley Taco Bell.  "HGH, anabolic steroids, creatine, Fun Dip, you name it.  'Belles was a real junkie for the stuff, this is no secret.  We had a good friendship though, that horse was always messing around and quick with a joke, this loss is a real tragedy."

Canseco also revealed he had his own motives for Eight Belles success.  "Honestly, I wanted him to be bigger than Barbaro, who was just a giant phony.  When Barbaro and I trained at the same Gold's Gym a few years back, he was always asking me about how I got so big and where he could get some HGH.  So one day I invited him over to my house and I catch him trying to fuck my wife!  But, he was everybody's golden boy, I wasn't going to come out with that stuff last year unless he won the Triple Crown."

Canseco went on to recount some tales of his days with the A's when he, Mark McGwire and Sunday Silence would have steroid and Beefarino-fueled orgies with strippers and notoriously loose mares.