The Hernia mole happened to be Chicago this week and earlier today during our morning status call, the poor guy wondered aloud if we were still on planet earth.
The puzzled outlook stemmed from this ridiculous 'Who's Hotter' debate between the Cubs and White Sox, which might be the dumbest question ever -- there simply is no contest. Or maybe it's the smartest question ever because it inspired a memorable Hernia roundtable.
Here are some of the items we've been debating while stapling toupees to the wall:
Who is taller, Spud Webb or Manute Bol?
Who is fatter, Oliver Miller or Shawn Bradley?
Who is dumber, Elijah Dukes or Mike Mussina?
Who is hairier, Teen Wolf or Lloyd "Sweet Pea" Daniels?
Who is gayer, Wilt Chamberlain or Jon Amaechi?
Who takes more pills, Tony Romo or Bill Romanowski?
Who is blacker, Mike Breen or Robert Parrish?
Who's classier, AJ Foyt or AJ Pierzinski?
Who is whiter, Bob Costas or Lawrence Taylor?
Who has better on-court vision, Magic Johnson or Yinka Dare?
Who is the better dunker, Jon Crotty or Kenny Walker?
Who is smarter, Barbaro or Ryan Leaf? (actually that one might be a toss up)
Who has the bigger dong, Mutombo or Big Brown? (actually that one might be a toss up too)