... is here to promote some awful video game
... thinks he's making a comeback in the XFL
... somehow thinks his Velcro beard is not a disgrace
... will likely snort something off the video game's case
... is wearing Raul Allegre as a girdle underneath that jersey
... knows you think he's a disgrace
... is posing for some bizarre "before and after" fart photoshoot
... really wants to play the Charlie Brown kicking trick on you
... is begging for someone to remove the tape from his fingers
... has worn that dirty old uniform as an undershirt for 20 years
... is overcompensating with that head tilt to hide his hideous LT/lightning bolt earring
... secretly loves that it's come to this
