Other crap they found in the Wrigley ivy
During the Cubs-Astros game last night, Houston's
Hunter Pence hit a shot to deep center that forced the momentum of outfielder Jim Edmonds to carry him into the wall, causing a charmed
ball to mysteriously pop out of the storied ivy.
According to those in the know, the additional ball was likely stuck there during a game umpired by controversial baseball figure, Frank Drebin.
Upon a deep investigation into the ivy, here's what else they found:
- A hot dog with ketchup on it (a sin in that city)
- Deep dish pizza
- John Kruk's other ball
- Several pair of Dusty Baker's trendy eyeglasses
- Bartman, Steve
- Ron Santo's Hall of Fame nomination
- Bears' QB coach
- Fukudome's confidence
- Mark Prior's arm
- The rest of Tank Johnson's arsenal
- The Fridge's Front Teath
- Chris Farley's hooker Friends
- Horace Grant's Rec Specs
- One of the California Raisins
- Sweet Lou's pride
- Nelson de la Rosa
- Paul Konerko's batting average
- Michael Jordan's bookie
- Ronnie Woo Woo's cot
- One of Will Purdue's giant sneakers
- Bill Wennington's sweat-stained tighty whities
- Leon Durham's astro lube
- Mark Grace's flask, cigarettes and groupies
- Jim McMahon's glass eye
- Jim Belushi's pride (found inside Mr. Destiny DVD)
- Jeff Garlands 'woe to be a Cubs fan' act
- D'Arcy Wretzy, former bassist for Smashing Pumpkins
- Billy Corgan's body condom (used while boinking Courtney Love)
- John Cusack
- Don Zimmer's secret fridge
- Kyle Orton's whiskey puke
- Sammy Sosa's cork & HGH, hidden inside a fake Spanish to English dictionary
- Jack Haley's failed line of exotic sweat towels
- Jay Mariotti
