Cowboys' Newman joins debauchery with Shockey & The Sports Hernia

Ok, so we're barely over two weeks into this seemingly endless Shockey party train and now this? 

"A Cowboys source said Newman would be out with sports hernia a minimum of six weeks."

At the very least this means a trip to the White House.  Can't freakin' wait.

Here's to hoping in the near future we'll actually see a female athlete not named Serpenis Williams out with sports hernia.