... has become the Frank Serpico of San Antonio
... is making circa 1973
... has been detained for questioning, but he ain't budgin'
... is not a witness to LeBron, he's in the movie "Witness"
... hopes to evoke a reaction, something, anything, from Tim Duncan
... is Kris fucking Kringle
... hates his shirt and would prefer you cut the horseshit
... also hates media day and won't hesitate to shove that pen and pad up your ass
... is clearly telling the Zen Master to feast on it, hard
... will eventually tell Baron Davis that his beard blooooows
... recently moved to Williamsburg, Brooklyn (scarf not pictured)
... is about to get framed for murdering his wife before running from
... will kick your fucking ass if you make one more Harrison Ford reference
... is convinced that the role of Gandalf has not yet been filled by an older, gayer person