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Thursday, October 02, 2008

New Rangers beat writer off to blistering start

Ny_rangers_new_beat_writer_6 The Rangers new beat writer for the Daily News Michael Obernauer is off to a popular start with his readers following a lengthy recap detailing the team's exhibition game in Europe, written as if he were working for a newspaper in St. Louis.

As you can see from the comments, he's already adored here in New York.

But being the generous folks we are, here are some examples of what Obernauer could have written instead so as to avoid the unfavorable, early backlash:

Rangers tune up with rout
BY MICHAEL OBERNAUER

The Rangers scored, they play again soon.

***

Rangers tune up with rout
BY MICHAEL OBERNAUER

Rangers ended up with a bunch of goals. Be in touch after next game.

***

Rangers tune up with rout
BY MICHAEL OBERNAUER

The Rangers of New York were victorious in an exhibition hockey contest that took place in the country of Europe. Goodbye.

***

Rangers tune up with rout
BY MICHAEL OBERNAUER

NYR 8 SC Bern 1. TTYL. LOL.

***

Rangers tune up with rout
BY MICHAEL OBERNAUER

The New York Rangers played hockey - ice hockey.  Some players scored goals.  They'll play again in the first-ever Victoria Cup game of ice hockey, which is probably meaningful or something.

***

Rangers tune up with rout
BY MICHAEL OBERNAUER

To be honest, I'm watching the MLB playoffs, not preseason fucking hockey. You want a recap and analysis, go to a fucking hockey blog.

***

Rangers tune up with rout
BY MICHAEL OBERNAUER

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