Baseball Tonight analyst John Kruk has announced he will now be known as Mongo McSteiner. His finishing move will of course be the crowd pleasing, inescapable cleavage sleeper hold.
When he's not staring through your soul, he'll be in Ric Flair's limo slapping your girlfriend's ass or doing the King Kong Bundy splash on entire biker gangs. Oh, and he's quite sure he'll be seeing you at the corner of Jabroni Drive and Know Your Role Boulevard.
Not pictured: Steel briefcase presumably filled with large amounts of cash, but likely to be slammed over Steve Phillips' head when Ravech isn't looking.
Soon to be pictured: The World Heavyweight Championship belt.
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Kruk's checkered Hernia history in chronological order:
Kruk kicks off 2007 season telling stylist to "give me the Melrose..."
Update: Kruk's condition worsening
Update: Jailbreak inside John Kruk's mullet sprouts sudden perm
Kruk's hair stuck in a monsterous slump
Kruk kicks off 2008 season with unkempt Ewok look
Kruk's flaccid hair stuck in typical July slump
Kruk’s hair rises to the occasion under October spotlight
