... will soon instruct his beard to attack John Giannone.
... looks like someone transplanted Chewbacca's ass on his face.
... was actually Bruce Sutter before he shaved his head.
... could sure use some quality time with the goalie from Slap Shot.
... has scared our nipples right off our chests.
... is halfway through "The Fugitive".
... wants to party with those hairballs from Maury Povich.
... is no longer able to speak because the weight of the beard is too great.
... played the title role in "Harry and the Henderson's", except he slugs Lithgow in the closing scene.
... is smuggling extra stick tape in his beard a la Captain Caveman.
... thinks Kevin Youkilis' beard is the Yugo of facial hair.