The Sports Hernia Blog

Tony Reali to leave ESPN for lucrative pit boss gig at Sands Casino

Jesus Tony, all you need is a live fish tie and a couple of dice and you'll soon be the king of Atlantic City.

No matter how hard you try, Gene Monahan Steve Donahue will not give in to the luring temptation of road beef

Marlon Byrd wins Hernia Shoestring Catch of the Month

First, why is his glove facing his face?  Is he signing to it?

Secondly, how fast was he running?  Half of his right foot is literally inside the wall.

And lastly, which might help answer our previous question, is he jumping into a giant Glad bag?

Whatever the case may be, an upside down standing ovation from the Hernia Staff is in order for Mr. Marlon Byrd.

Mariners-Pirates deal on hold until Ian Snell agrees to change embarrassing name

In related news, this is Ian Snell??  We were picturing someone more in the realm of Pete Schourek, with healthy sprinkles of Spalding Smails.

Pirates turn double-play trade: Wilson, Sanchez [Baseball America]

Jeff Wilpon not amused by latest Pelican chant at Citi Field

In a not so surprising twist, the real pelican happens to love it.

Update: Marbury not in white Bronco on L.A. Freeway yet

With Tyson comfortably in the rearview mirror, Stephon Marbury paints his face white and dances his ass off to Michael Jackson.  Watch this particular clip over atTMZ.

Or just watch him live right here.

Or just drop acid.

Whatever works.

Source: Favre's behavior has been a developing pattern

Earlier this morning we spoke with one of Brett Favre's closest and most trusted contacts at Wrangler jeans to get some more information on the QB's un-re-unretirement.

While we left more confused about reasons behind his decision, here's what we did learn:

Favre got pumped for the U.S. World Cup Qualifier match by donning a Mexico jersey.

Favre raved about the Yankees' rise to 1st while wearing a Red Sox cap.

Favre recently revealed he's a hardcore homophobe, then fucked some dude in the butt.

Favre once said he had Sting's back, then spray painted "#4 Wuz Here" on his back.

Favre announced to friends he's a vegetarian as he scarfed down a bleeding bison burger.

Favre converted to Mormonism while chugging a Red Bull Vodka and keeping just one wife.

Favre claims he's now an Orthodox Jew but can't stop talking about that bacon sandwich he had on Saturday.

Favre said his favorite video game character will always be Mario, while wearing green overalls.

Favre discussed his difficulty to get a hard-on while enjoying a flawless masturbation session.

Favre pledged his undying allegiance to Voltron while driving Optimus Prime and reminiscing about Gobots.

Favre will continue to keep throwing [Pro Football Talk]

Minaya's verbal steel chair shot leads to unprecedented alliance

Not since September 23, 1987, has the sports world seen such an unprecedented and unpredictable alliance.  Yes, mark it down.  July 28, 2009.  The day the New York Post extended its hand out to their arch rival, the New York Daily News, much like the Hulkster coming to the aid of an outnumbered and severely beaten "Macho Man" Randy Savage, with Omar Minaya playing the part of the Honky Tonk Man and the Wilpons as the morally deprived Hart Foundation.

Jay Greenbrg writes:

Whatever ulterior motives Minaya may have been wishing upon a writer who had asked members of several organizations about potential career entry into baseball, hadn't the GM admitted to already knowing Mets' HR department had been investigating Bernazard's behavior of the kinds described by Rubin?

Bernazard was fired yesterday for that behavior.  So the only motivation in questioning Rubin's motives was not to explain a delay in a due process out of Minaya's hands, but to deflect the GM's own ineptitude, as reflected in every rambling, contradictory thought he utters.

Although he couldn’t resist saying this:

Asked twice, Minaya couldn't offer what would have been a proper forum. Nor did he explain why he had attacked Rubin, who should have restricted career inquiries to persons in organizations other than the one he covers, both because that would have eliminated potential questions of impropriety and because he should have known whom he is dealing with.

Joel Sherman wrote:

On Monday his (Minaya’s) inability to remain in control of his thoughts led to a gaffe that could lead to unemployment.  He turned the firing of Tony Bernazard into an attempted firing squad for a reporter from the Daily News.

Witness Hogan's courage for yourselves folks, and that too of Bobby Heenan, who was still willing to announce the historic match despite a woman, Miss Elizabeth, being allowed anywhere near his sanctuary, otherwise known as a wrestling ring:

Omar Minaya begins apology with convincing Puddin' Pops impression

Moments later Minaya put on a giant, colorful sweater and began discussing his favorite hoagie in horrifyingly graphic detail.

He was eventually dragged away from the podium, but that didn't stop him from singing, "Fred, is, great! Gives us chocolate cake!" as gathered members of the media, sans Adam Rubin, begrudgingly clapped along.

Stephon Marbury morphs into Ralph Wiggum on 24/7 live broadcast

Still waiting for Marbury to say, "Me not the best point guard in the NBA? That's unpossible."

Video: Marbury Eats Vaseline in Quest to Be Like Oprah [TMZ]