If your once dominant football program is being mistaken for Miami-Ohio (!) to the point it's actually printed as such in a national newspaper, consider said football program about as relevant as that lucky fan sitting in solitary confinement at Cowboys Stadium.
And when both helmets of a storied "rivalry" are blatantly botched, consider throwing in a tape of Dan Mowrey's greatest misses or puking on your prized helmet phone in lieu of watching the live action.
Dabgummit! Bowden wants to raze 'Canes [NY Post]