At long last, a helmet destined for the bulbous dome of one Barry Bonds is out there and readily available. Unfortunately, it's about two years too late and inexplicably swallowing David Wright's head.
It's a shame really, as Barry finally would have been able to walk up to the plate without looking like he's wearing a mini novelty ice cream sundae helmet.
In case you're wondering, these new roomy helmets can fit approximately 17 Figgins heads.
On an enchanting Mets note: Friday marks the debut of bedazzled jerseys and orange pants with ass tassels.
Please, David Wright, Never Stop Wearing This Helmet [The Fightins]