The Sports Hernia Blog

Update: Favre to let Vikes know by end of July

Brett Favre: July 30 deadline to decide on NFL return [ESPN]

Devoted football fans turn Vikings press conference into Mystery Science Theater

This amazing photograph tugs on our heart strings as we yearn for the day in which even our richest clients wear actual viking gear to the big company meeting.

[No photoshop work here, this was part of the Yahoo! NFL gallery]

Stallworth to serve 30 days after pleading guilty to DUI manslaughter?

As the always prescient Trillionaire Ted has told us time and again, everybody's got a price!

Stallworth pleads guilty, gets 30 days in jail (Yahoo! Sports)

Drew Brees apparently morphing into Roy Munson

You may now officially add Drew Brees to the sidecar of Kyle Turley's ever-growing Thor-themed motorcycle gang.

And if you suddenly have the urge to slam a 32oz. can of Miller Lite and slam painkillers like Nick Nolte in North Dallas Forty, you're not alone.

Racy headline slips past Yahoo sports editor

Kudos to the rebellious soul who courageously slithered this one through the red-inked chain of command.

Should this hero opt to show him or herself, they'll receive a Shawn Bradley jersey gown in the mail, compliments of Marv Albert's dresser.

LeBron surges past Favre in sports world national suck-off

Ugh.  Once again, a cyanide spritzer please.  And make it snappy.

Jerry Rice sadly just seconds away from Men On Film debut

Really Jerry?  Really?  Two snaps up and a cyanide spritzer.

DWTS' Dance Center, Now With More Shirtless Jerry Rice Action (Awful Announcing)

Breaking: Favre to meet with Vikes later this week

Report: Favre to meet with Vikings coach Childress (AP)

[Special thanks to Construda for the clip]

John Elway officially aging in Hound dog years

Essential viewing tips for the NFL Draft

We've been here before and, as you can imagine, we've received an overwhelming number of thank you letters for creating the ultimate sports draft viewing experience.

So just follow these carefully thought out tips and you too can feel like a winner on draft day:

- If you're a Jets fan, start your day properly: viciously boo your own shit after your Saturday morning dump.

-Cover your entire body with Nachos.  Every time someone says "ability", "capability" or "explosiveness", do a sailor dive into a giant pit of salsa.

- Keep a white pillow case and a set scissors handy so you have something to create your "I give up" flag.  When done, use those scissors to snip off your useless sack.

- When the Raiders are on the board, release majestic doves into the air and crank up Tina Turner's "We Don't Need Another Hero."  Then, affix Sour Patch Kids to your 7th Hot Pocket and devour the whole thing.

- If you're lucky enough to catch a heated side-by-side exchange between Kiper and McShay, sprint up to that Ken O'Brien FatHead on your wall and berate it mercilessly.

- When is starts to feel a bit mundane, take things up a notch and hump your draft board.

- Everybody loves a good drinking game.  If you're holding the remote when a trickle of sweat becomes visible on Chris Berman's forehead, dip your head into a gallon of vodka and stay submerged through the end of the next commercial break.