The Sports Hernia Blog

Breaking: Francesa proclaims Andy Pettitte is a starting pitcher

Joba To The Pen, Big Mikey To The Mental Ward (Tirico Suave)

Sweeny Murti could really use a lap dance right about now

Reports are surfacing out of Florida that WFAN's Sweeny Murti, whose regular duties for the station center around Yankees coverage, has not in fact been been doing anything of the sort for the last month and has instead been the unfortunate soul trapped under Morty Seinfeld's beach chair.

Murti, who returns to Manhattan today, has said he will bypass the Yankees first workout at the new stadium this afternoon and head directly to Scores, where he plans to be knee-deep in cleavage until the season opener on Monday in Baltimore.

After 22 years, a WFAN caller finally asks Mike Francesa about his breasts

Update: Thanks to Bob's Blitz we now have the Francesa Topless clip as well.  Judging by his reaction, Mike does not enjoy discussing the size, or possible exposure, of his sacred tits:

Bigger Tits - A-Rod or Mike Francesa Prank Call (Bob's Blitz)
Would Frnacesa do the show topless? (Bob's Blitz)

Chris Russo unsure if Tiger's return holds any significance for golf

Notable highlight:

"Then this weekend on NBC, Tiger uses the port-o-potty, Jimmy Roberts right outside, I guarantee you that!!!"

Now if only someone could guarantee that Chris Russo would also be waiting for Tiger outside the port-o-potties with a mic in one hand, and his Princess Vespa blowdryer in the other. 

Mad Dog Minute (MSNBC)

Mad Dog reveals to Letterman his favorite number is "Fwree"

Russo did not, however, get a chance to discuss the Colawado Rockies.

Mad Dog Russo becomes animated referee in latest Springsteen gush session

What is it that Chris Russo is constantly air-bobbling?  It's like he's a line judge indicating that a receiver bobbled the catch before stepping out of bounds.

The highlight for us comes at the 1:10 mark where Russo plays "air guitar" which ends up looking a lot more like an air harp.

Freeze frame of the air harp after the jump...

Continue reading "Mad Dog Russo becomes animated referee in latest Springsteen gush session" »

- We wish Kelly Tripucka a head coaching job, or a chest coaching job, basically any job in which he could control hair.

- We really wish we called Barkley a cab.

- We wish for Rasheed Wallace to be mic'd up for every game.  NBA Action - it's Faaaantastic.

- We wish for a live conversation between Mike Singletary and Gary Busey.

- We wish for the wonderful Benjamin Button and Forrest Gump to snag the tag team belts at next month's WWE pay-per view.

- We wish the Barber brothers would be kind enough to wear matching overalls when they visit Santa next year.

- We wish for another fun Mexico trip for Tony Romo and Jason Whitten.  Or just another fun night in their T.O.-less tree house.

- We wish Gilbert Arenas a healthy New Year or his own talk show.  One or the other.

- We wish the Sports Guy wouldn't write his articles in SSOL.

- We wish Michael Phelps a second mother or a third sister - it's too much work for those ladies

- We wish A-Rod a wonderful dance party later tonight and cross our fingers in hopes the happy fella wears a scarf during games next year.

- We wish Phil Mickelson's cleavage another banner campaign in '09 and offer up a healthy wink and a sexy whistle at those badboys.

We have no idea what inspired Chris Russo to depart from that wonderful auburn Alf tribute and embrace this Princess Leah brown, earmuff and all, but we're loving the Mad Dog hair journey.

On McCain's response of "Steroids" to Chris Berman as something he'd like to see changed in sports:

"John!  We're passed that!  Go get 'em Obama!"

Five seconds before saying that, he reveals he didn't even vote for Obama:

"I voted for Obama for this reason... actually I voted for McCain, but i should have voted for Obama."

I guess they only do one take for these videos. 

Another thing that hasn't changed about Mad Dog?  His hands still look like giant fly swatters.  Eat your heart out, Dr. J.

On Mortensen logic:

Chris Mortensen was brought in to discuss punitive action against Chiefs' RB Larry Johnson, accused of assaulting a woman... Mortensen speculated that Chiefs' coach Herm Edwards is unlikely to allow Johnson to slide.  After all, Mortensen concluded, Edwards is the father of two daughters.  Huh?  Assaulting women is a depends-on-your-point-of-view issue?  Had Edwards been the father of two sons he reasonably would be more likely to overlook or even excuse Johnson's conduct?  What if he had one of each; would he be on the fence?  One needs to be the father of daughters to grasp the gravity of - or even over-react to - such charges?

Consider this a verbal wedgie from Mushnick, Mort.  Been a banner week for ESPN. 

On the genius of Chip Caray:

When the Rays' Rocco Baldelli singled in a run during Game 7, Caray didn't have to say a word.  But he followed the comments of analyst Buck Martinez by hollering, "And how big are two-out hits in the postseason?!"  How big?  Well, two-out hits are big in the regular season, too - provided that they are.  But that wasn't the problem. When Caray shouted his two-out two cents response to Baldelli's RBI single, there weren't two out, there were none out!

Later, Caray referred to the game, a Game 7 - the decisive game of the series - as "a pivotal game," as if there would be a Game 8, as if the winner would take the lead.

We love two-out base hits when there are actually no outs, because if it feels like there are two outs, it feels so much more clutch.  Get porked, Caray.

On the mind-blowing consistence of Mike Francesa:

Mike Francesa on WFAN, Wednesday, called it "comical," how people in the media have tried to let everyone know how tight they are with Brett Favre.  Yeah, we know exactly what he means. There's this guy on a New York station who pulls that stuff with Bill Parcells, among many others.

Cue to the ugly sight of Francesa and Parcells laughing it up with their pants pulled over their respective groin guts.

And now cue to the chant slowly gaining steam throughout Hernia Headquarters:

Mushnick Mushnick Mushnick Mushnick!

MORE OF THE LAME FROM ESPN  (New York Post)

Happy New Year from the Hernia & the very festive Barber Brothers

- We wish Kelly Tripucka a head coaching job, or a chest coaching job, basically any job in which he could control hair.

- We really wish we called Barkley a cab.

- We wish for Rasheed Wallace to be mic'd up for every game.  NBA Action - it's Faaaantastic.

- We wish for a live conversation between Mike Singletary and Gary Busey.

- We wish for the wonderful Benjamin Button and Forrest Gump to snag the tag team belts at next month's WWE pay-per view.

- We wish the Barber brothers would be kind enough to wear matching overalls when they visit Santa next year.

- We wish for another fun Mexico trip for Tony Romo and Jason Whitten.  Or just another fun night in their T.O.-less tree house.

- We wish Gilbert Arenas a healthy New Year or his own talk show.  One or the other.

- We wish the Sports Guy wouldn't write his articles in SSOL.

- We wish Michael Phelps a second mother or a third sister - it's too much work for those ladies

- We wish A-Rod a wonderful dance party later tonight and cross our fingers in hopes the happy fella wears a scarf during games next year.

- We wish Phil Mickelson's cleavage another banner campaign in '09 and offer up a healthy wink and a sexy whistle at those badboys.

Mad Dog earmuffs now available for $4.99 at Lord & Taylor

We have no idea what inspired Chris Russo to depart from that wonderful auburn Alf tribute and embrace this Princess Leah brown, earmuff and all, but we're loving the Mad Dog hair journey.

Mad Dog's a flip flopper

On McCain's response of "Steroids" to Chris Berman as something he'd like to see changed in sports:

"John!  We're passed that!  Go get 'em Obama!"

Five seconds before saying that, he reveals he didn't even vote for Obama:

"I voted for Obama for this reason... actually I voted for McCain, but i should have voted for Obama."

I guess they only do one take for these videos. 

Another thing that hasn't changed about Mad Dog?  His hands still look like giant fly swatters.  Eat your heart out, Dr. J.

Mushnick's Friday blowtorch: Mortensen, Caray, Francesa

On Mortensen logic:

Chris Mortensen was brought in to discuss punitive action against Chiefs' RB Larry Johnson, accused of assaulting a woman... Mortensen speculated that Chiefs' coach Herm Edwards is unlikely to allow Johnson to slide.  After all, Mortensen concluded, Edwards is the father of two daughters.  Huh?  Assaulting women is a depends-on-your-point-of-view issue?  Had Edwards been the father of two sons he reasonably would be more likely to overlook or even excuse Johnson's conduct?  What if he had one of each; would he be on the fence?  One needs to be the father of daughters to grasp the gravity of - or even over-react to - such charges?

Consider this a verbal wedgie from Mushnick, Mort.  Been a banner week for ESPN. 

On the genius of Chip Caray:

When the Rays' Rocco Baldelli singled in a run during Game 7, Caray didn't have to say a word.  But he followed the comments of analyst Buck Martinez by hollering, "And how big are two-out hits in the postseason?!"  How big?  Well, two-out hits are big in the regular season, too - provided that they are.  But that wasn't the problem. When Caray shouted his two-out two cents response to Baldelli's RBI single, there weren't two out, there were none out!

Later, Caray referred to the game, a Game 7 - the decisive game of the series - as "a pivotal game," as if there would be a Game 8, as if the winner would take the lead.

We love two-out base hits when there are actually no outs, because if it feels like there are two outs, it feels so much more clutch.  Get porked, Caray.

On the mind-blowing consistence of Mike Francesa:

Mike Francesa on WFAN, Wednesday, called it "comical," how people in the media have tried to let everyone know how tight they are with Brett Favre.  Yeah, we know exactly what he means. There's this guy on a New York station who pulls that stuff with Bill Parcells, among many others.

Cue to the ugly sight of Francesa and Parcells laughing it up with their pants pulled over their respective groin guts.

And now cue to the chant slowly gaining steam throughout Hernia Headquarters:

Mushnick Mushnick Mushnick Mushnick!

MORE OF THE LAME FROM ESPN  (New York Post)